i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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