North Korea, Best Korea!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here