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Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO