K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.