ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.