...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
