So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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