i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
