I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
