normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
