all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
