Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
