There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
