Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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