My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
