All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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