I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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