My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
