Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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