Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up under a house in Key West
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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