I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
