you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
