he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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