well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
someone owes me an orgasm
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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