I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
