we're chasing vodka with high fives
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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