What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
