YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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