The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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