at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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