Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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