every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
why is half of my head shaved?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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