He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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