I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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