He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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