i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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