God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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