So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
