Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
