maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
