There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
