sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
