its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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