grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
