hotel room ftw
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
