Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize