He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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