When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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