no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
