guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
