my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
