on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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