Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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