exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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