that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
