So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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