I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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