Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
