Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
