If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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