Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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