Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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