Fuck appropriateness.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
