A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
