thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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