glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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