Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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