So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I have post one night stand depression
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