porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
