Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
