wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
