i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
