I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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