Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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