just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize