I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
